Hi friends. It’s me Pugsley again. I have to warn you….This isn’t pretty or for the faint of heart. You boys like me may not understand because I sure don’t. It must be a girl thing.
My mom had her high school reunion Saturday night. I’m not allowed to tell you which one it was, but let’s just say that I don’t have enough paws to count that high. I like to hang with my mom when she’s getting all gussied up, especially when she dries her hair. The heat feels good against my fur. Our friend Ozzie Perez rocked her hair so she only had to do a quick touch up with the blow dryer. Things were going normally until she got out some crazy undergarment called SPANX. It still makes my fur stand on end. Mom was hopping around trying to pull that thing on. Apparently it’s supposed to flatten your tummy and shape your butt. I’m a Pug so I understand about tummies and butts. All that huffing and puffing and twisting made me a bit nervous, but mom got them on and I don’t think they were going anywhere any time soon. Then mom couldn’t bend and was walking around like Herman Munster. Do all moms do this? Watching her try to zip her boots with her body in a right angle was completely unnerving…..and that wasn’t the worst part. That happened when she got home….
Apparently she had a great time and it was time to deSPANX. I’m telling you I ran for the hills. She was rolling on the bed trying to get that thing off. Then she braced herself against the wall and did some kind of contortionist thing. Did I miss the part where mom used the glue gun when she put them on? I wanted to help, but I was afraid those SPANX would yank out my teeth and let’s face it….I love my mom, but why should I miss out on treats because mom wanted to pretend she was 17 again? I had only read about torture chambers before the great SPANX incident of 2011 and I’m telling you, I had nightmares all night. I need a whisperer…..I dreamt that they were coming to bind me like a mummy and
I’M BLOGGING….I’M TELLING MY FRIENDS ABOUT YOUR SPANX. WHAT? I WASN’T SUPPOSED TO TELL ANYONE ABOUT THAT? WELL, I THOUGHT IF I TALKED ABOUT IT I WOULD STOP BEING SO SCARED. YOU DON’T WANT ME TO END UP A PROZAC PUPPY, DO YOU?
UH OH…GOTTA RUN….THIS MAY BE MY LONGEST TIMEOUT EVER!
Pugs & Kisses,