Hey everyone guess what – my mom cut off all her hair. Well, not all of it, and she didn’t cut it herself. Mom left the house and said she was going to see her friend and hairstylist Ozzie Perez and she came back with a whole new funky do. I never had a haircut so I don’t know what it feels like. All I know is there’s not enough left on mom for me to pull anymore.
Hey mom, what does your hair feel like?
Mom said it’s like 20 pounds was lifted off her head, especially in the summer. It’s more like 10 pounds every other time of the year. I’m not sure I understand that. All I know is that it’s not long enough for me to pull anymore.
Hey mom, did you bring me your ponytail to play with?
She said that Ozzie is donating her hair to Locks of Love and hopes that it’s long enough for them to use. Wow…my mom is awesome.
Mom, tell Ozzie to uncurl it like I do with my tail so that it’s the right length.
I must have gotten my curl from my mom’s side of the family.
Hey mom, can I grow out my hair to send to Locks of Love?
Well give me hair vitamins so my hair will grow long. Ask Milo from down the street what he takes. He looks like a mop with legs when his hair gets long.
Mom says my hair won’t grow long and if I really want to do something with my hair I can sweep the floor and glue it all together. She’s not funny.
Hey mom, did Ozzie cuddle with you while he was blowdrying your hair?
She said no. He was working too hard and it was a very intricate process.
Mom, if you really want to be pampered you should go to Petco next time. If you went there, you would get cuddles. When Genna was blowdrying my hair she stopped and cuddled with me for 10 whole minutes. I can call Genna and make an appointment for you. I’m sure she’ll cuddle with you.
Hmm…she said no one shampoos her hair like Ozzie does and she’s not switching salons.
Well, I like the way Genna shampoos my hair. I get a body massage. Does Ozzie give you a massage? Does he do your nails, clean your ears, brush your teeth and give you a spritz of cologne afterward like Genna does with me? And don’t forget that I got a cool Petco bandana. (Boys, the young ladies down the street were fighting over me.)
She said hair salons only focus on hair.
Your loss! You know you could have more time to play with me if you went to Petco. It’s a full service salon. You won’t have to go to a different salon for your nails, the ENT for your ears and the dentist for your teeth. I’m sure they have mommy and son packages. Are you sure you don’t want me to check? Mom? Hey mom? MOMMMMEEEEEE?
She’s pretending she doesn’t hear me.
Hey mom, if you won’t go to my salon can I go with you to Ozzie’s salon next time? I want to see what’s so great about his shampoos and see if he can give me a cool asymmetrical look?
Well he’ll just have to weave extensions into my hair. Since he only has to do one side, it shouldn’t take more than about 17 hours. I don’t think Petco does extensions.
She’s ignoring me again. I’ll email Ozzie myself and ask. I’m not caving on the massage and cuddle though. That’s a deal breaker.
I hope mommy’s locks give a child lots of love.
Maybe I’ll get highlights……..
Until next time –