Hi friends. I promised that I would share the details of our doctor visit.
We all piled into the car and by the time we got to the doctor’s office, my eyes were glazed over and my head was spinning like a top on Crack.
Everybody was stepping on, hitting, biting or fighting with their brothers and sister. I’m so glad I’m an only child!
I got a great checkup. Dr. Bianco, the owner and director of the Ardmore Animal Hospital said I’m sweet, funny, healthy, smart (a genius really), devastatingly handsome and he would love it if I would work at the hospital part-time as a greeter. Giggle snort I’m just kidding; he didn’t say all that. But I know he was thinking it!
The chicks read the sign in the waiting room and breathed a sigh of relief:
While we were waiting for my test results, the kids got a little bored.
Didn’t I tell you not to perch on the equipment?
FALL IN!
ATTENTION!
Chick N. Dance: “Uh-oh! I think we’re in trouble.”
Chick N. Noodle: “You think?”
Chirp: “Gulp! I hope we don’t become Fricassee.”
Chick E. Cheese: “I’m already grounded for forgetting to bring my sample.”
Chick N. Dance: “We could make a run for it.”
Chick N. Noodle: “I don’t know. We’ll have to cross the road.”
Pugsley Jr.: “I won’t even dignify that with a response.”
As I was saying, Dr. Bianco said my eyes, ears and teeth look good. Thanks mom for brushing my chiclets and cleaning my ears even though I don’t make it easy for you.
I said chiclets, not chicklets…….
My skin is nice and smooth and my coat is shiny. My heart and lungs are strong and clear. (I take my vitamins and Omega oil.) I like Dr. Bianco. The last time I went for a checkup, the other doctor stuck a finger in my butt. Some doctors get so personal and they don’t even buy you dinner first.
You can hear my heart, right Doctor B.? May I listen? What does it sound like? By the way, do you have an extra stethoscope I could have for my nurse’s kit?
My blood tests all came back negative and I’m so cool that I didn’t even need a bandage where they drew my blood. I got an A+ in clotting. And my weight is exactly the same as it was on my last visit. I’ll bet it’s because of my new food.
My mom switched me to grain-free food. That makes me a special eater, like the gluten-free, dairy-free, sugar-free, taste-free vegetablearians! When I go to the Shaking Medicine weekend in July, I’ll be able to get in the front of the line and eat first.
HEY, WAIT A MINUTE……….I’ll bet mom planned this so that she could eat off my plate. She’s so Machiavellian.
Just as everything was going along rather smoothly, Dr. Bianco gave me 35 shots.
DO I LOOK LIKE A PIN CUSHION DR. B.?
Pugsley, you got 4 shots.
Well it felt like 35 mom.
Guess what everybody…..there was another kid in the office who was there because he ate chocolate. I’m not the only one who does that, although I might be the only one who hatched baby chicks. I guess he didn’t eat chocolate eggs like I did. Quick, Chirp call the Guinness people.
If chocolate is so bad for us, why does it taste so good?
What mom? You’ve been asking that question for years? Doesn’t anyone have an answer? Quick, Chick N. Noodle get me Hershey on the phone.
It’s good to finally have a staff.
After the exam, Dr. Bianco gave me a cookie. I guess he didn’t know that Colleen had already given me one. I’m glad she weighed me before I ate my snacks.
Mom paid my bill….that reminds me mom…..are my chicks covered under my insurance plan or do they have to sign up for Obama Care?
When we got back home, my mom gave me a present. I thought it was because I had gotten such a good report from the doctor. It wasn’t; it was a present from my Tio Jonathan.
It says, “Hello, My name is STUD.”
I blushed a little. I can’t wait until the ladies see me in it. I hope my cell phone has enough minutes to handle all the calls I’m going to get. I’ll have Chirp be my receptionist. I definitely shouldn’t answer my own phone anymore.
Personnel:
1. Receptionist
2. Gatekeeper
3. Bodyguard
4. Personal Assistant
5. Communications Director
Hey mom, how many cubicles and work stations can we set up in the living room? Mom? You’re ignoring me again mom. And we’ll need a break room with snacks and water. Mom? I’m talking to you mom!
Some things never change.
Pugs & Kisses, Pugsley
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