I ALWAYS wanted to say that and now my dream has come true! So I’m sorry that I’ve been out of touch. I’ve been preparing to go on tour. I can’t tell you about it afterward because you know what they say, “What happens in the tour bus stays in the tour bus!”

Here’s how it happened:

I caught up with my friends Carrie Klein and Joel McGlynn at a quaint little BYOB (Bring Your Own Bones) bistro in midtown Manhattan, at which time I interviewed them for my blog. I know that I don’t appear to be a midtown kind of guy so let me just say that proximity to the park was a necessity. It wasn’t so much for me as it was for Joel. Read on and you’ll see why.

Carrie and Joel were so impressed with my charm, wit and PUGnaciousness that they offered me my new gig on the spot. I now have a real life job as a band bodyguard. I get to wear my Doggles, talk into my paw and look menacing. Oh, and did I mention the cool tour t-shirt I’ll be rockin?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN I’M TOO LITTLE TO LOOK MENACING? I’VE BEEN PRACTICING MY EYEBALL GLOWER!

As long as you don’t rub my belly or dangle a Beggin Strip in front of me, I got this.

Read on for the interview (glower).

Hi Carrie and Joel. Thanks for meeting with me today. I know you’ve been busy, especially with Derek Jeter Day and all that Yankees stuff. It’s been busy in my hometown of Philadelphia too as the Phillies battled relentlessly in the NL East. They made it look so easy to be cellar dwellers. They hardly broke a sweat all season.

Okay, enough get to know you small talk.

What’s the name of your band?

This has been a tough one for us to answer, but we think we’re gonna stick with:    Hot Glue & The Gun

What do you think?  We haven’t published it yet, but it’s time for us to get the word out about ourselves, and we think it’s a bit sexy, a bit weird, and a bit like our first show [kinda hard to figure out, but awesome]. 

I LOVE it. Hot glue guns are the best. I’m not allowed to use mine without adult supervision and since my mom needs adult supervision, I’m afraid it doesn’t see much action in our craft room. Will I get to pack one while we’re on tour?

(Pssst….Miss Carrie….wink)

How long have you been musicians?

How long have you been a dog? 

Who you calling dog? Cackle….just kidding……was I menacing? Did I incite fear in the depths of your being? Okay, I’ll admit, perhaps my menacing stance needs some work.

To answer your question, I’ve been a dog all my life, really. I went through a phase where I thought I was a polar bear because I like cold weather and I love to swim in my pool. My stylist wouldn’t dye my hair platinum so I gave it up.

You’re funny Pugsley. Your spirit animal is the polar bear? We may need to talk about that. Purity of spirit? Hmmm….

Among other things, I am intelligent and fearless. So there! My mom’s animal is the eagle. I didn’t say iggle, I said E-A-G-L-E. Yo, I do not speak with a Philly accent!

I apologize everyone for the digression. Now back to our interview.

So seriously,  Carrie has been singing since before she could crawl, and Joel was playing piano in his mom’s belly – although probably they called it “kicking” at the time.

Carrie was the first truly professional member of the duo, performing in various Chicago Regional productions including a stint at the Lyric Opera when she was just about 2 (in dog years).  Joel’s immediate family led music at their local church, and it has been said that his great-great-great-grandfather played violin for the Czar of Russia – although it has also been said that the strange hard roll sandwich with wilted lettuce and green peppers that many sell in NYC is a “Philly Steak”… so maybe take the Violin story with a grain of salt.

That’s illegal in my hometown. You know, people get arrested for toasting the roll. They don’t toast the roll in NYC, do they? Say it isn’t so Joe! Do I need to moonlight as a Philly Cheesesteak Authenticator and Roll Inspector?

Did your great-great-great grandfather wear those big fur Ushanka hats and figure skate too? If so, I’ll bet the story’s true. You know that Russians can figure skate before they can walk. He must have taken up the violin after his Olympic career ended.

We know you didn’t ask, but both of us have been actors since we discovered the joy of making faces in the mirror to avoid paying attention to grown-ups.  

I do the same thing! My mom had me tested for DADD (Doggie Attention Deficit Disorder). Turns out I’m a genius. I’ll bet you both are too.

(You’re pretty Miss Carrie.)

So, tell me, how did you meet?

It took us a minute.  Carrie had a strange pull to go to NYC, and when it was time for her to pick a college, she chose NYU.  Ironically, Joel missed his first chance to meet Carrie when during that same time period, he interviewed to transfer to NYU’s Film School and found out how much it would cost per year.  Instead, he wandered around losing and finding his way while Carrie learned to be the best Server/Bartender on the planet in New York’s crucible of a restaurant/club scene.  When Joel finally got to NYC with a big “I was a Fine Dining Waiter in Lambertville” chip on his shoulder,  Carrie was given the unenviable task of knocking him down a peg or two (a.k.a. training him to work in his very first NYC restaurant). Neither of us liked each other to begin with, but over time we became better and better friends.  At one point, Carrie said, “I have an idea.  Let’s spend as much time with each other as we can, for as many days as possible.”  Joel replied,  “That’s funny.  I just gave up hoping that my dream-woman would ever say something like that to me, and now she has.”  We were married as soon as possible: 5 years later.

That’s such a touching story. It was bashert. That means destined. You two are soul mates. So I guess there’s no point for me to continue making googly eyes at Miss Carrie, huh? Sigh

Where can people see you perform?

Our current plan is to take “The Vision Board” on the road, starting in January 2015.  Come Spring/Summer of 2015 we hope to have some NYC/Philly dates to share!

I heard your premiere performance of “The Vision Board” was a smashing success.

Thank you. We’ve been told it was.

Soon we’ll have a website up, but we’ll always post what we’re doing on Joel’s Facebook Page.

By the way, your hair in your cover photo is the color that I wanted. Hook me up with your stylist okay? 

How did you create “The Vision Board” performance for Sacred Journeys?

We didn’t.  Everything was channeled to us by great mysterious spirits who called themselves “Lady” and “Tramp”.  They insisted that we quiet ourselves, cut and paste pictures from tabloid magazines into a “Vision Board,” then dig through our sketchbooks and recordings for scraps of music and story.  Eventually, the show began to take form.

Also, we attended several Mystery School weekends at Sacred Journeys, in which the community shared with us its incredible collective love, support, story, and song.

Oh, I heard about those weekends……my pug lips are sealed!

We believe writing a show is a bit like making a good soup.

I don’t like soup. I’m a sloppy eater and I hate wearing a bib.

Miss Carrie, where do you find all of your wonderful costumes? I especially like this bird hat. What’s the story behind it? Where can I get one?

Carrie’s closet has a similar function as the wardrobe to Narnia.  She simply holds her breath, reaches deep within, and pulls out a sequined gown. It’s a terrific trick. Among the treats found are colorful wigs, strings of beads, fishnets (tho, we wouldn’t attempt to bait fish with them) and clown noses. One time she accidentally grabbed a mink while he was peacefully sleeping.  Mr. Mink yelped and ran off to another tree.  

I HATE when that happens!

Oh, by the way, the “bird hat” is what they in the fashion world call a “fascinator.” We recommend an adventure through NYC’s garment district. It’s amazing what one can do with hot glue and a gun…

Is that why you named your group Hot Glue & The Gun?

It’s our essence!

What else do you want my fans to know about you?

When we’re not writing or performing, we enjoy frolicking in the park, chasing squirrels, and playing fetch. 

ME TOO! Except that I don’t play fetch. Why exert all that energy? Maybe for a snack, but definitely not for a stick. I have standards, although my bar is set pretty low where snacks are concerned.

(Pssst….Miss Carrie…..do you want to frolic with me sometime?)

Last question: May I be your roadie? Maybe I’m too little for that. I can work security for you okay? I’ve done that for other important people like my Aunt Lisette. I’d be perfect as Miss Carrie’s bodyguard.

You might be a little too little to carry some of our equipment, but we’d put you as security up against the Paparazzi any day.  You’re hired! You’ll be MY bodyguard.

HARUMPH! Foiled again!

Thanks so much for interviewing us Pugsley.  Now we have a question for you…

We think you’re an awesome journalist.  How do we nominate you for a Pulitzer?

I’m blushing. Do you really think I could win a Pawlitzer? Here’s the official website.  Maybe we should start with a Bloggie.

Big Sloppy Face-Lick to all your fans,

-Carrie&Joel-

AKA -HotGlue&theGun-

And a bye for now from Pugsley! Thanks for reading. I’ll let you know when Hot Glue & The Gun will be at a venue near you. Tell the doormen you’re with Pugsley and Pugsley’s with the band.