Hi everybody. I can’t wait to tell you all about my playdate with my Auntie Kate DeRiel.

Mom drove me to Auntie Kate’s house and she made a yummy lunch for us. We had chicken salad samiches.

I said chicken SALAD!!! It was boneless. Don’t worry, I asked before I dove into the bowl. I didn’t want to end up in the hospital again. There was no phone in my room and I felt very disconnected the last time.

We made our samiches and Auntie Kate had all the candymints to go with them.

Mom: What are candymints? Are they like Lifesavers?

Pugs: Stop sneaking up on me when I’m blogging. I didn’t even know you were home. I really need to put a bell around your neck or something. You just beam in without anyone knowing it. And stop being silly mom. You know – candymints: lettuce, pickles, cold slaw………

Mom: You mean cole slaw. And they’re called condiments.

Pugs: That’s what I said. Our candymints don’t have faces. You’re shopping in the wrong place. I like these better than ours.

Anyway, best of all, we dined on Fresca.

Mom: You mean al fresco.

Pugs: No, I don’t. Who’s he? I don’t know this Al Fresco person. I ate with Auntie Kate.

Mom: It’s not a who, it’s a what.

Pugs: Okay……..WHAT’s he?

Mom: People aren’t “whats” Pugs. People are “whos”.

Pugs: You just said he isn’t a who. Stop confusing me!

Mom: I said it’s a what, not a who. Things are whats; people are whos.

Pugs: Sigh! I hope I don’t meet anyone named Al Fresco. He must be in therapy. The way my head is spinning, I’ll be lying on a couch soon too.

Mom, I don’t care who or what Al Fresco is. He, I mean “it,” wasn’t at our lunch. Wait, is Al Fresco an alien? I might care if it’s an alien. Does it know Marvin the Martian? I like Marvin. His headgear is supercool.

Mom: Al fresco means outdoors.

Pugs: On what planet?

Mom: Earth

Pugs: Are you sure? I can ask Marvin.

Mom: You don’t know Marvin.

Pugs: Well, maybe Al Fresco does.

Mom: SMH

Pugs: Friends, WE DINED AL FRESCO ON FRESCA

Are you happy now mom?

Mom: You know Pugs, your grandmother loved Fresca. She drank it all the time. I didn’t even know it was still being sold.

Pugs: No wonder I loved it. It must be genetic. I inherited grandmom’s Fresca gene.

Mom: Uhhhh…..Ummm……..yeah, that must be it. We can go with that.

Pugs: Why did you hesitate?

Mom: No reason.

Pugs: May I continue now?

Mom: Can I stop you?

Pugs: No

So when we arrived at the park, the other kids came rushing over to me and we could hardly walk through the gate. I must have wicked strong pheromones.

We found a pic-i-nic table and unloaded all of our gear, including some snacks for me and more Fresca.

I edited mom’s newsletter for that lady group to which Auntie Kate and mom belong. I forgot my Doggles so I had to read it up close. Auntie Kate helped me.

I played a little until two kids got into a playground fight. Their moms had to pull them apart because a big Pit Bull was picking on an itty bitty Chihuahua. I had to referee:

HEY THIS IS A BULLY-FREE ZONE! YOU’RE NOT ALLOWED TO EAT THE LITTLE KIDS!

I finished editing the newsletter and guess what? Yellow highlighter does NOT taste like lemon.

My pheromones caused such a ruckus. All the big kids came running to our table and then jumped on it and on us. I went Kung Foo Pug on them:

HEY, DON’T YOU SEE ME SITTING HERE WORKING? DO YOU JUMP ON TABLES AT HOME? AS A MATTER OF FACT I DO JUMP ON TABLES AT MY HOME BECAUSE THEY’RE MY TABLES. THESE AREN’T YOUR TABLES. DID YOU ALL MISS THE CLASS ABOUT SHARING AND PERSONAL SPACE? OH GROSS – WHO STEPPED IN SOMETHING FUNKY? YOU BETTER TAKE THOSE STINKY PAWS SOMEPLACE ELSE. IT’S CALLED HYGIENE. GOOGLE IT!

I’m going to find a different park. Even though I liked the new agility equipment the park ranger added, I don’t like that the big kids jump on me and I really don’t like all the dirt on the ground. Mom had to wash my paws and face when I got home and I left paw prints all over the car seat. I want to find a park with grass where I can frolic and play without needing to run through the car wash afterward.

You can text me with your suggestions. And if you see Al Fresco, run!

Until next time……..

Love, Pugsley