Hi everybody. I can’t wait to tell you all about my playdate with my Auntie Kate DeRiel.
Mom drove me to Auntie Kate’s house and she made a yummy lunch for us. We had chicken salad samiches.
I said chicken SALAD!!! It was boneless. Don’t worry, I asked before I dove into the bowl. I didn’t want to end up in the hospital again. There was no phone in my room and I felt very disconnected the last time.
We made our samiches and Auntie Kate had all the candymints to go with them.
Mom: What are candymints? Are they like Lifesavers?
Pugs: Stop sneaking up on me when I’m blogging. I didn’t even know you were home. I really need to put a bell around your neck or something. You just beam in without anyone knowing it. And stop being silly mom. You know – candymints: lettuce, pickles, cold slaw………
Mom: You mean cole slaw. And they’re called condiments.
Pugs: That’s what I said. Our candymints don’t have faces. You’re shopping in the wrong place. I like these better than ours.
Anyway, best of all, we dined on Fresca.
Mom: You mean al fresco.
Pugs: No, I don’t. Who’s he? I don’t know this Al Fresco person. I ate with Auntie Kate.
Mom: It’s not a who, it’s a what.
Pugs: Okay……..WHAT’s he?
Mom: People aren’t “whats” Pugs. People are “whos”.
Pugs: You just said he isn’t a who. Stop confusing me!
Mom: I said it’s a what, not a who. Things are whats; people are whos.
Pugs: Sigh! I hope I don’t meet anyone named Al Fresco. He must be in therapy. The way my head is spinning, I’ll be lying on a couch soon too.
Mom, I don’t care who or what Al Fresco is. He, I mean “it,” wasn’t at our lunch. Wait, is Al Fresco an alien? I might care if it’s an alien. Does it know Marvin the Martian? I like Marvin. His headgear is supercool.
Mom: Al fresco means outdoors.
Pugs: On what planet?
Pugs: Are you sure? I can ask Marvin.
Mom: You don’t know Marvin.
Pugs: Well, maybe Al Fresco does.
Pugs: Friends, WE DINED AL FRESCO ON FRESCA
Are you happy now mom?
Mom: You know Pugs, your grandmother loved Fresca. She drank it all the time. I didn’t even know it was still being sold.
Pugs: No wonder I loved it. It must be genetic. I inherited grandmom’s Fresca gene.
Mom: Uhhhh…..Ummm……..yeah, that must be it. We can go with that.
Pugs: Why did you hesitate?
Mom: No reason.
Pugs: May I continue now?
Mom: Can I stop you?
So when we arrived at the park, the other kids came rushing over to me and we could hardly walk through the gate. I must have wicked strong pheromones.
We found a pic-i-nic table and unloaded all of our gear, including some snacks for me and more Fresca.
I edited mom’s newsletter for that lady group to which Auntie Kate and mom belong. I forgot my Doggles so I had to read it up close. Auntie Kate helped me.
I played a little until two kids got into a playground fight. Their moms had to pull them apart because a big Pit Bull was picking on an itty bitty Chihuahua. I had to referee:
HEY THIS IS A BULLY-FREE ZONE! YOU’RE NOT ALLOWED TO EAT THE LITTLE KIDS!
I finished editing the newsletter and guess what? Yellow highlighter does NOT taste like lemon.
My pheromones caused such a ruckus. All the big kids came running to our table and then jumped on it and on us. I went Kung Foo Pug on them:
HEY, DON’T YOU SEE ME SITTING HERE WORKING? DO YOU JUMP ON TABLES AT HOME? AS A MATTER OF FACT I DO JUMP ON TABLES AT MY HOME BECAUSE THEY’RE MY TABLES. THESE AREN’T YOUR TABLES. DID YOU ALL MISS THE CLASS ABOUT SHARING AND PERSONAL SPACE? OH GROSS – WHO STEPPED IN SOMETHING FUNKY? YOU BETTER TAKE THOSE STINKY PAWS SOMEPLACE ELSE. IT’S CALLED HYGIENE. GOOGLE IT!
I’m going to find a different park. Even though I liked the new agility equipment the park ranger added, I don’t like that the big kids jump on me and I really don’t like all the dirt on the ground. Mom had to wash my paws and face when I got home and I left paw prints all over the car seat. I want to find a park with grass where I can frolic and play without needing to run through the car wash afterward.
You can text me with your suggestions. And if you see Al Fresco, run!
Until next time……..