Inhale through my nose, exhale through my mouth. Deep breaths Pugsley………in and out………in and out………
I don’t mind it when my mom goes away for a good cause like helping our veterans. I DO mind it when I find out that she’s been CHEATING ON ME.
My mom picked me up Monday and I could see that she was really emotionally exhausted so when we got home I tucked her into bed. She proceeded to sleep for the next two days. Of course, she got up every so often to feed me and let me walk her, which I thought was very considerate. I smudged the house a few times to clear out all the residual energy that she brought home. While she was asleep I decided to help her by downloading the photos from her camera. That’s when I found THESE:
Who is this kid and why was she allowed to go on the retreat? AND WHY WAS MY MOM SNUGGLING WITH HER?
MOM! YOU’VE GOT SOME SPLAINING TO DO!
I jumped into mom’s bed and smacked her upside her head.
Mom told me the girl’s name is Tinkerbell and she’s a service dog. I have a lot of clothes and I don’t understand why I don’t have one of those red vests. I want one of those vests so that I can go all kinds of places where mere mortal dogs aren’t permitted to go.
My mom said that I would have to go away for a few weeks of intensive training. I’ve had lots of training and I already take care of so many services around here. I do all the scheduling and filing. I check mom’s emails and take care of her correspondence. How much more training do I need?
Mom said we could talk about me becoming a service dog when I learn “stay” and “come.” I know what stay and come mean. I just ignore them. I’m a free spirit; a freethinker, a nonconformist and a big furry ball of adventure. I like to do my own thing on my time.
Wait…….Will Uncle Colonel Ranger Robin train me? Oh yippee! I’ll get breakfast in bed at the Pheasant Field Bed & Breakfast and I’ll get to hang out with Aunt Kit and my pal Rehab. How soon can I go mom? Mom? Why are you ignoring me again? Mom?
I just checked; mom’s napping again. And I thought I napped a lot!
I’ll look at the rest of her photos.
OMG! I don’t even want to know what this is. My mom is such an embarrassment.
You know that my mom is not allowed out without adult supervision. Who’s weekend was it to watch her? Auntie T? Uncle Mike? Uncle Jonathan? Can’t a kid go on vacashun without his mom acting all cray cray? (Note to self: No Tibetan singing bowl for mom for Hanukkah.)
Mom just woke up again and said she had a wonderful discussion with one of the Army veterans about military canines. He said that dogs don’t feel emotions like humans do.
Really? He never talked to me. My mom told him to come to our house and tell me about my inability to feel emotions. I feel lots of emotions: deep love, gratitude, compassion and happiness. I’m also capable of feeling boredom, anxiety and spitefulness. I’ve been known to jump onto the table and throw all of my mom’s papers and files on the floor. (That’s called filing.) Sometimes I grab for my treats on the kitchen counter, although recently I end up empty-pawed when I do that. Gee, I ate one whole chicken ONCE and needed emergency surgery and all of a sudden the treats are locked up in Fort Knox. Harumph! And I do lift my leg and tinkle on stuff in the house when mom goes fun places without me.
So who says that I don’t feel emotions? It’s my acting on them that seems to be problematic.
My mom told me she met so many wonderful people at her retreat. There are too many people to mention and mom said you know who you are.
HI EVERYONE! I’M PUGSLEY.
Mom sends a special shout out to a lovely lady named Sarah who came all the way from England to staff the weekend. Wow! That’s really far, isn’t it mom?
Mom, can we drive to Miss Sarah’s house in England one day so that I can meet her? Maybe she’ll take me to see the Queen.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS MAKE NEW FRIENDS WHO LIVE PLACES WHERE WE CAN’T DRIVE TO VISIT?
First there was Aunt Lisa who lives in Australia, then Miss Anna who lives in both England and Ireland and now Miss Sarah in England. It’s just not fair. Why don’t all of these places connect with roads?
I DON’T KNOW ANY GEOPHYSICISTS!
Hey mom, who’s this? Mom said this is Breezy and he’s from Wisconsin. He made sure mom knew that his Packers were trouncing the Eagles. Boo Breezy Boo!
Mom wanted to hear all about my vacashun.
I love my resort. I get to play with all the other kids, sunbathe, and I get so much attention from the resort concierges. I’m glad I’m a pug. All the ladies who work there crush on me and whenever it’s my nap time, they sneak into my suite for snuggles. Miss Linda came to my suite to play.
Here I am hanging out in my bed.
Here I am investigating Miss Linda’s phone.
And here I am with Miss Linda.
Hey, where did you go Miss Linda? You cut yourself out of the picture. I can come back and teach you how to take selfies so that you’re in the picture with me.
Mom asked why I’m allowed to snuggle with other ladies and she can’t snuggle with other kids.
BECAUSE I’M PUGLSEY, THAT’S WHY!
MY WORLD – MY RULES!!!
And so you know, I don’t let just anybody into my world. You have to be pretty darn special.
So on this Thanksgiving Eve, mom and I are thankful for all the special, loving, magnificent people in our lives. Enjoy your Thanksgiving Day with your friends, family and football. May all your teams win (except you Cowboy fans. Sorry Aunt Teresa that means you!) GO EAGLES!
Mom, I’m learning proper English. Now can we go to visit Miss Sarah and Queen Elizabeth? May I ride on the London Eye? I want to see Big Ben too.
Where did you go?
Is there someplace near us where I can take polo lessons?
I’ll need a pony!