I’m One Pooped Pug

Hey civilians. Today was my first day of basic training. I did well and liked it. No one told me I would have to work so hard though. Our maneuvers were pretty, well, basic, so far. How many times can one kid come and sit? I got a little bored with the repetition and went to play near a tree. My Drill Sergeant, Joe Goch, commanded me to “Drop and Give Him Twenty.” Twenty what? I don’t even know what that means. Thank goodness it didn’t mean sit-ups. I’d still be there.

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It’s true what they say – women love a man in uniform. Two women walked by our training area and stopped to admire me. I even got a little pat on the head. Imagine if I had been wearing my camo sneakers that my mom refused to buy me……hearts would have been broken today.

After training I packed my gear and headed toward the barracks. IMG_2079What did I tell you???? Postage stamp size. There’s no way George Washington slept here. After I brought in my gear: my water bowl, treats, a bone, my new collar and leash, my old collar and leash and my dog tags, there wasn’t room for me and I’m a little guy. George had a good six feet on me easy. Maybe he slept with his feet hanging out the door.

After I unpacked, I was chauffeured to see the psychologist. I wasn’t in the seat five minutes before I was snoring.

When we got there, it turned out that the psychologist was my email buddy, my Tio Jonathan Cohen (J.C.). He’s a dear friend of mom’s and even though we had never met, he follows my blog and emails me a lot to check on mom and me. I got to see the temple, crystal garden and the water sanctuary honoring the Divine Feminine that he and Shari built on their property. I told J.C. that all feminines are divine in my humble opinion. Hahahahaha snort. Feminines. Hahahahaha. I crack myself up sometimes.

We had such a good time bonding. Yesterday was Tio J.C.’s birthday and I was his present. If he was analyzing me, he might say that was an awfully narcissistic thing to say. Guess what? I DON’T CARE! Snort! He gave me an ear rub, and treats, and played with me, and told me I was a sweet being with a big heart, and he told me I’m intelligent……and I in turn crawled onto his lap and gave him lots of pug kisses.

That's a whole lotta tongue for a first meeting!

That’s a whole lotta tongue for a first meeting!

Don’t tell him I said this, but I don’t do that with just anybody. Only special people get my pug kisses – well only my mom really. And don’t tell my Drill Sergeant Joe that I said that. You know what the Army does to mama’s boys! Besides, pugs are a bit standoffish and I have a reputation to uphold.

So after playtime with J.C., I got back in the jeep and fell asleep again. I had been tired since training and didn’t run and explore much at Tio’s house. Frankly, I was on my best behavior because I know how psychologists analyze body language. I didn’t roll on the grass, lie down or paw at his arm when he stopped petting me. I woke up halfway home and started shrieking. Then I discovered my bone and went to town with it. Before I knew it I scrunched onto my cot safe and sound, resting for tomorrow’s training.

Out, Pugsley

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YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY; IT’S ALL FUN AND GAMES UNTIL SOMEBODY ENDS UP IN A CONE

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I REALLY DID IT THIS TIME.

I’ll just say it – I had a week from hell.

Mom and I spent a fun day together last Monday. We got my nails trimmed and the tartar blasted off my teeth; mom got me new food and treats and then she stopped at the market to pick up dinner. Boy that chicken smelled good. It taunted me all the way home. Mom put it on the counter and stepped out to bring in the rest of the bags and return a call from our friend Wilson and that’s when the hell broke loose. By the time mom came back into the kitchen, I had inhaled the chicken – the WHOLE thing. How dare it mock me. I showed it who was boss…..until I didn’t.

Mom kind of freaked out and took me right to Keystone Veterinary Emergency and Referral in Havertown. We went right into the exam room and I was barely on the table before the thermometer was up my butt. Whoa – that was rather intimate for a first date, don’t you think? I would have expected dinner or at least a drink first, but considering that my tummy was aching, I made an exception.

Next came the x-rays. If you’re squeamish, you may want to skip this part.

Pugsley Femur

It’s hard to see it on the x-ray, but that’s the femur…..inhaled whole…..and NO I DON’T KNOW HOW I GOT IT DOWN

Pugsleys x-ray 2

       No wonder I Feel Bloated

Then came the bad news. I managed to get all the bones down, but that big old chicken femur and the scapula weren’t going to come out without a fight. I wanted to call Dr. Alexander Uribe who operated on my pop-pop several times and is totally cool. I was comfortable with that choice. He’s a ginormous Phillies fan like I am and I knew we could bet on the Opening Day starter, the order of the rotation and debate whether Michael Young was a good trade for the hot corner. (Sorry for taking him from your Rangers Aunt Teresa.) He saw a photo of mom and me at the ballpark so yup, we would have lots of stuff to discuss in the OR. (Granted it was taken on a cold day in January and while I was wearing my Phillies cap and t-shirt, mom had four layers of clothes under her jersey. Hahahahahahaha that was so funny; she could hardly bend.)

Anyway, then mom gave me more bad news. I have two legs and a tail too many for Dr. Uribe.

WE COULD HAVE BEEN BUDDIES DR. ALEX!!!!

So mom left me in the excellent care of Drs. Avery and Collins and all the super nice nurses and technicians. They were so wonderful. I knew I would likely be shaved before surgery, but no one told me the nurses would shave my boy stuff too. I woke up after the surgery around midnight and that was quite a surprise, but not as shocking as the  surgery before my adoption when I woke up and some boy stuff was missing. That’ll make you keep your knees closed. Dr. Collins told me he spoke to my mom. She had called several times to check on me, but since I didn’t have a phone in my room she couldn’t talk to me directly. I had a nice private room and cool neighbors next door. Mom came to visit me the next morning. I’m not sure why she looked like crap since I was the one who had surgery. I was really loopy from the painkillers and I knew I was wagging my tail, but it wasn’t moving. And like most patients, I kept kicking the blankets off my bed. Hospital RoomAll my nurses were amazing. Shh don’t tell, but nurse Michelle was crushing on me a little bit. She snuggled with me a lot and gave me ear rubs. I WUFF YOU MICHELLE! When she left the room, the other nurses snuck in and played with me. A nice lady who was visiting my neighbor asked to take my picture because she said I look like her husband’s uncle. He must be very handsome! Everyone at Keystone was so compassionate and friendly and took such good care of me. I’m glad my breath was nice and minty for all the ladies after getting my teeth cleaned in the afternoon. They all made mom feel so much better. YOU HAD YOUR CHANCE TO BOND WITH ME DR. ALEX!  My Tio Jonathan talked mom off the ledge. She was distraught and scared – and my mom doesn’t scare easily. I WUFF YOU TIO JC AND THANKS FOR ALL YOUR TEXTS AND EMAILS. Aunt Jody, Berry and Ebony checked in practically every hour. They were so worried and reported back to Uncle Chuck, Georgie, Alfie, Chubs, Ivory, Dingle and Princess. I think even Wookie was worried. You still have me to pick on when I visit Wookie.

Ebony

            Ebony

Berry

                 Berry

Here I am with cousins Giovanni and Isabella when mom and I drove to Fort Worth last Spring

Here I am with cousins Giovanni and Isabella when mom and I drove to Fort Worth last Spring

Aunt Teresa, Giovanni and Isabella were ready to come visit from Fort Worth. Aunt Teresa cried when mom called her to say I was out of surgery. And Wilson texted me since he and mom were on the phone when I morphed into a piglet, but since mom had my phone, she texted back and told him I was okay.

I was discharged on Wednesday. I glanced at my report and it said foreign body removal. What? She looked like an American chicken to me. Maybe she was Mexican? Or a French Canadian? The container didn’t say pollo or poulet or even galinha in case she might have been Brazilian…and no I didn’t look to see if she was waxed. I’m a gentleman. The discharge instructions said to eat a bland diet of chicken and rice for a week. REALLY???? Does anyone think I want to tangle with poultry again any time soon? Just wait until I’m better. I’m going to give Jim Perdue a piece of my mind. He should put instructions on his chickens that clearly state, “Don’t eat the bones!” Jeez – kids don’t know everything.

Mom gave me my pills and cooked me rice for dinner. Everything upset my stomach so Dr. Avery said to bring me back to the hospital for a quick checkup. Even though it was only a few hours since I left, between you and me, I think she missed me. And Michelle was supposed to go home, but she waited to see me. I can’t help it that I’m just so darn cute and squishy. Dr. Avery gave me a shot of something to calm my tummy. It didn’t work very well. It’s a good thing mom has seat covers in the car for me. CLEANUP ON THE PASSENGER SEAT MOM. OOPS….AND THE CAR MAT….UH OH – I DIDN’T KNOW YOUR EARMUFFS WERE THERE….DAGNABBIT AND MY LEASH….AND DON’T FORGET MY CONE.

My recuperation has been going well since then. We’ve had lots of kisses and hugs time. Mom had a business event Thursday night so Aunt Rachel’s son Kody came to pugsit. We watched the Flyers game. You can see that I was still feeling kind of yucky, but hanging out with Kody made me happy.

Snuggling with Kody Lawton

    Snuggling with Kody Lawton

My friend Elly Sullivan came to see mom and me Friday night. You read about her a lot in my previous posts. Surgeons call her to apply Healing Touch to their patients after surgery to help them heal more quickly. Aunt Elly cleared the anesthesia and the ickies (that’s a medical term I think) from my body and worked with me so that I won’t pull food off the counter anymore and end up in the hospital. I think that’s going to take some time. She said tears fell from my eyes. Some behaviors are difficult to change.

Heart and Throat Chakras

        Heart and Throat Chakras

Crown Chakra

                 Crown Chakra

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Sorry this is blurry. It was too sweet not to post. I think this is called the Snuggle Chakra.

And after I was finished I got to lie on the table with mom again and I fell asleep while she had her session. Mom was nauseous and not eating all week because she was so worried about me. Saturday morning we both felt so much better. THANKS ELLY. WE WUFF YOU A LOT AND I WANT TO BE PATIENT. I ate my breakfast and didn’t fight mom when she gave me my pills. She’s been checking my incision to make sure it’s healing. I told her not to worry if I bust one of the staples and I gave her my stapler just in case.IMG_2041

I asked mom to fill out and submit the claim form to my insurance company. She talked to them a few days ago. She’s always right on top of the important things. I hope they pay for my surgery or else when I’m better I may have to get a job. No worries……….I’m not counting my chickens before they’re hatched.

THANKS FROM MOM AND ME FOR YOUR LOVE AND PRAYERS!!!!

Pugs & Kisses, Pugsley