Hey friends. We were experiencing some technical difficulties lately and I’m happy to report that we’re back online and have cable and phone service again. It was very quiet at our house. We missed a lot of baseball and the way the Phillies played the first two weeks of the season, that wasn’t necessarily a bad thing.

Mom went to her first game last week with her friends and ticket plan partners Karen and Scott Shablin and shared her extra ticket with her friend Jerry Clark. I watched on TV as usual….that was before the cable wire was disconnected by a stupid inconsiderate Comcast technician who connected our new next door neighbor by disconnecting us. Anyway, Doc was pitching and he was very um, un-Doclike. In fact, he wasn’t the only one. The Phillies starters at that point had a 37.50 ERA compared to the Mets’ 1.83. Seriously! I don’t have enough toes on my paws to count that high. Mom watched the Big Man’s batting average drop 24 points that night to .146. Jerry and their friend Dale Wilcox developed a new scoring system where you count runs, hits and errors in tallying the Phillies’ final score. We would probably be undefeated. Sigh. I know it’s early in the season and way too soon to panic, but mom said the fans got tired of booing the team and started booing each other when the wave broke down, which allegedly was the only form of entertainment in the ballpark that night. Ouch.

I’m happy to report that after many seasons of enduring most of the Dollar Dog Nights, mom doesn’t have any this year. That’s when they swap out the regular dogs for smaller yucky ones that are barely cooked because they have to make so many. The baseball concession gods have smiled upon her. And the best news…..the onions are back, along with sauerkraut in covered chafing dishes, lettuce and tomatoes. Mom said it looks like a Roy Rogers Fixins Bar. There must have been quite a backlash from fans after the onions mysteriously disappeared last summer. You don’t fu…..mess with Phillies fans and their onions. The Schmitter stand moved from its previous location near the left field gate to prime real estate a few feet away and in its place is Federal’s Chicken and Donuts. It sounds like the coronary food section.

Has anyone seen the movie 42 yet? Friday on The View, some of the cast members were on the show promoting the movie. The View ladies should stick to arguing about politics because they sure don’t know baseball. Someone who shall remain nameless in order to protect the clueless said that Jackie Robinson’s number, 42, has been retired across Major League Baseball. That’s true….until that person added that no one is allowed to wear it. You wanna tell that to Mariano Rivera?

No one corrected that know-it-all. The fact that the show is based in New York makes that pathetic. Maybe they’re all Mets fans, which makes it more pathetic. When number 42 was retired on April 15, 1997 there were 13 players still wearing it and MLB let them keep it until they retired.  Rivera is the only one still active and planning to retire after this season. Thank you again baseball gods! So then that statement will be true. Jeeeesh…..JUST BECAUSE YOU’RE ON TV DOESN’T MEAN YOU KNOW WHAT YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT! Note to self: Start watching The Price is Right at 11 AM.

Mom’s thinking about going to Busch Stadium in July. JULY MOM? Just thinking about that makes me want to shed ALL my fur. If anyone wants to go with her, be my guest, but I’m telling you all now – I’m not going.  Hopefully it will be better than Aunt Karen’s and mom’s road trip to Cincinnati a few years ago. That wasn’t even calendar-worthy. I hope the Phillies play better by then. I’d hate to watch the news and see my mom in red pinstripes flinging herself off the Arch.

So here’s hoping the Phillies get it together once Chooch gets back on the 28th. Not that we’re counting the days or have it circled on our calendars or anything……

Pass the peanuts and Crackerjack!

Love, Pugsley