Hi everyone! It’s me, your favorite pug and co-pilot, reporting in about my wonderful weekend in the mountains.
Whaddya mean who is it? Was that you who asked that question Bentley Brodey? You’re not funny.
We arrived in Springfield, MA right on-schedule, thank you very much. The same thing happens every time I check into a hotel. The front desk staff wants me to stay and work with them. I love greeting all the people. Mom said it was time for dinner so I ran to the elevator. Work would have to wait. I have my priorities, you know. There were two kids across the hall from our room the size of small ponies. Their moms wouldn’t let me ride them up and down the hall. That wasn’t very neighborly. I don’t think any of our moms liked that we talked to each other throughout the night. Who needs sleep when you’re on vacation?
Mom took me to the Dr. Seuss National Memorial Sculpture Garden. We saw the Lorax, Horton, Thing 1 and Thing 2 (just like mom and me. I’m Thing 2 by the way.), The Cat in the Hat, Sam (Oooh I love green eggs and ham too Sam-I-am!), The Grinch and Max (Where was Cindy-Lou Who?), Thidwick and Yertle.
Cousin Sammy, there was no Caroseussel like they have at Universal Islands of Adventure.
That’s right; my mom shipped me off to boarding school. I just knew that there would be so many New England preppy kids there. You know, kids named Kailey, Binky, Muffy Poppy, Zara, Cricket, Sabine, Teague, Paxton, Barton, Hunter, Winthorpe, Biff and Kingsley. I begged my mom to register me as Darcy. That’s right – THAT Darcy. We share so many ruggedly handsome and brooding qualities.
Mom dropped me off at the Shaker Hill Pet Resort. I thought I was going to a Shaking Medicine weekend with real New England Shakers, but it was not to be.
My teachers thought it best to tutor me privately since I was new and only staying a few days.
I checked out my room – the Large Rover Suite – and then went to math class. MATH CLASS FIRST???? At least I could have had creative writing first. I’m good at that – or so I’m told.
Like my mom, I don’t understand math. I didn’t get the math gene either. The teachers kept telling me I was incorrect when I counted out the treats. “One for you, three for me, another for you, five more for me…..” I didn’t understand what was wrong so they gave me a word problem. My mom told me about those. They make her pop Ibuprofen like they’re Tic Tacs.
If the bag of treats on train A leave the station at 6 am going west at 100 mph, and the treats on train B leave another station 750 miles away at 8 am going east at 70 mph, where and when do they cross?
Answer: Unless I’m going to be a Conductor, who cares?
My mom said that all of her teachers used to tell the class that they were preparing them for “real life.” Well, just as my mom thought, she’s been out of school for a long time and no one’s ever asked her about Train A and Train B.
So why would I cross the country to find the spot where the trains meet when I could just stay home and eat the treats in my treat jar? How would I get there anyway? Is there another train, let’s call it Train C, that goes there? If I took a bus, how would I get from the bus depot to the trains? And who says there’s a train station at the point where they cross? What if they cross and keep on going? What’s the point if I can’t get the treats? And when would someone ever ask me about the trains? It’s not like it ever comes up in discussion at the dog park.
My teachers looked like their brains were going to explode so they gave me an early recess. Mom says the same thing happens to Aunt Karen when she calculates Aunt Karen’s share of their Phillies tickets.
I loved recess. We played Pin the Tail on the Squeaky Toy, Dodge Bone, Red Rover, and Pugsley Says.
My teachers were wonderful and they texted mom report cards and photos each day.
Now to mom’s part of our trip. After mom dropped me off at school, she went to the Norman Rockwell Museum. She plugged in the address that the website said to use for the GPS and she ended up at someone’s house. It’s a good thing that Google Maps on mom’s phone knew the correct route. Google knows EVERYTHING!
Mom said she gained quite an appreciation for Norman Rockwell’s artwork after listening to the docent’s talk. Mom has always had her favorites (Waiting for the Vet, The Runaway, Bottom of the Sixth, The Prom Dress) and it was nice to see all of them displayed.
Mom then set out for her weekend at the Kripalu Center. The mountains must have been too much for the GPS because it crashed so mom used Google again, which led her up a windy mountain path to a dead-end in someone’s driveway. I guess Google doesn’t know everything afterall. Kripalu was pretty much across the street from Tanglewood, which if mom had known, would have made her travels much easier.
Hey mom, see what happens when you dump your co-pilot at school!
Mom went to Kripalu to take a workshop led by Beth Weinstock and Jane Shure of the Resilience Group. They were awesome and so was the workshop.
She met so many nice people: EJ; Esther; Nicole; Laurel; Kate; who has a pug named Charlotte; Ben; and so many others whose names mom forgets. Her roommate Kristine was soooooo nice and fun. Kristine was at Kripalu to attend a workshop with the poet David Whyte. All the ladies were fainting over him. He had a book signing Saturday afternoon and the wait in line was about two hours long.
Hi Miss Kristine. Thank you for helping my mom sew my Howloween costume.
At orientation Friday night, one of the staff members said to make sure to take the room key when you leave the room because someone always realizes they’re locked out of their room while they’re in the shower. Guess whose mom did that? Cackle
It’s a good thing you had your pajamas mom! The staff at the front desk said there were 40 people ahead of mom that morning who did the same thing. I think the orientation leader jinxed everybody.
Mom said her schedule only allowed time for one yoga class, which was fine because the grounds were so beautiful that she spent a lot of time outside.
I was so excited to see mom on Sunday when it was time to go home. When we passed the exit for the Catskulls, I covered my eyes in case the skulls were near the highway. When we passed the exit for Woodbury Commons, mom covered her eyes, which wasn’t cool since she was driving.
I love traveling with my mom. I’m very good company except when I’m shrieking. I must be a speed demon. I’m fine if we’re going 60 mph or faster, but in stop and go traffic, I can be pretty unruly. I don’t know why. I wonder if Kripalu has a workshop for that.
Next up……my annual Howloween costume reveal. Stay tuned!